like tears in the rain...

A friend of mine told me out of the blue “I am so sorry about the people that don’t have brothers”, I said, what do you mean? And he replied:” its such a beautiful and powerful concept.We fight constantly and nevertheless, I know, he always be there.  I think is sad not to have the chance to know what that is…”

One of those times when I have been in the hole, my brother sent me an e-mail. He said, trying to cheer me up, that for him I was the living proof than ancient cultures exist, because like the Chinese I would set myself to do the most cumbersome task and achieve them with out  complaining of how industrious it was, and that as much as he had tried he had never woken up one day before I did.  With that, he attached a chronology of photographs from our childhood together to that moment.

That broke me into tears  and  I replied one phrase: ‘of that person, there is nothing left’.

He called me the next day and we had a good chat. Among other things he said 'Take advantage of what you have now, the rest will come later’. That meant  a lot to me.

In those moments of ‘Lars and the plastic girl’ craziness, he was there backing  me up, like the characters in the movie, suffering with me, unconditionally,  and don’t letting me go. And what ever conflicts we had had in the past did not matter. Other people, outside my family, were doing the same.

As my Dad would say, the important thing in life is that at the end when you add the positive and the negative, the balance remains positive, becasue we all make mistakes.

In relationships I have just done the right amount of wrong- Is like trying to get Canadian experience-you make mistakes because you don’t have experience and you don’t have experience because you have not done enough mistakes.But sometimes you have to pretend you do have that experience and that might ended  being the reason why you sometimes loose the job (or the person)…it’s a complicated balance.

Strange enough from those moments of sadness and despair, I have learned a great deal and even produced beautiful things, because “it is in the dialogue with pain that many beautiful things acquire their value”

Those friends who stayed to support me without judgment , I now called my family, regardless of blood ties; and those who choose a different path or that of politeness… vanished, as at the end of our lives all those moments will “ like tears in the rain”